How to get rid of aggression and irritability, where to direct anger

Where to direct anger and aggression so as not to harm anyone. 2 easy ways to cool down

Natalia Stepanova

Natalia Stepanova

How to deal with aggression

The main thing is not to keep everything to yourself.

Anger and aggression are very strong emotions that just don’t arise and disappear. In cases where you are overcome by a wave of negativity, it is important to act clearly and decisively.

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Do you know people who never get angry? More precisely, they are angry, but all “bad” feelings are suppressed. And, as a rule, outwardly they are very calm, although a hurricane can rage inside.

Due to upbringing and beliefs, many people forbid themselves to express anger and aggression, being in constant tension. For years they tamp and accumulate all this inside themselves. But at a critical moment they can’t withstand the internal heat and cope with it as best they can:

  • or throw out negativity on others;
  • or suffer and destroy themselves.

Neither method is completely environmentally friendly. In the first case, a person swears, quarrels and is at enmity with others. In the second, it provokes the emergence and development of somatic (bodily) diseases.

Why is this happening?

The child is introduced to aggression at about one to three years of age in order to experience parental acceptance. That is, when the baby screams, gets irritated, angry, when he does not obey, when he can break or break something, then he does not do it “in spite of” his parents, he explores his feelings – anger and aggression.

If a parent endures such intense feelings of the child, accepts them and helps him to live them, then such an eco-friendly acquaintance of the child with his healthy aggression in the future helps to transform it into inner strength, show will, defend boundaries and achieve goals.

Psychologists and sociologists agree that the conflict of generations will never be exhausted. But it is still possible to come to an understanding. In the previous article, we talked about effective ways to resolve disagreements.

“I’m sure your parents won’t understand.” 5 situations on which different generations have different opinions

If for some reason a parent cannot stand the aggressive behavior of the child and in response begins to be indignant, annoyed, shamed, blamed or punished, the child forms a ban on the manifestation of his feelings. And then this force, this energy, which is so necessary to go forward, is blocked. However, it does not disappear anywhere, but remains in the body.

To help keep yourself from building up emotional stress, try these simple steps:

  1. Throw out anger and aggression through actions: any physical exercise will do (run, beat a bag, do strength training). If this is difficult to implement at the moment, you can relieve tension by stamping your feet on the ground or hitting a pillow. Move with your whole body and remember to breathe.
  2. Recognize and name your inner experiences, and then write them down. Such an “unloading” of emotions from the psyche onto paper will help free up resources for “digesting” negative states.

These simple rules will help in the moment to cope with emotional stress in a difficult situation. Do not neglect them, because stress can provoke serious diseases. Read more about this at the link below.

How stress causes the body to age and what to do about it, scientists from Yale told
How stress causes the body to age and what to do about it, scientists from Yale told

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